I penned these thoughts in 2022 while going through a second cancer diagnosis…

This last month has been a whirlwind. Sometimes I can’t breathe right. It catches me by surprise to feel the stress filled shake of my exhale, and in the middle of my un-captivated thoughts I question the depth of my faith.

Then I remember Jesus in the garden.
Sweating blood.
Asking if “this cup” could pass from Him.
These are the actions and physical tolls of human stress. I imagine His breath was shaky too. That Human part of Him. Going through stress.

He entered our world as a man.
Fully God.
But also fully man.
His gracious choice.
And there we see Him in the garden.
Stress filled. But praying.
Then submitting to the will of His father.
Walking away from the garden with soldiers.
Without a fight.
This is a comfort to me today. He is our example. And when He says He knows and understands our “weakness”, He does. Completely.

I’ve never even come NEAR to the kind of stress that Jesus endured. I am far from sweating blood. But I have asked the questions, and asked for my cup of suffering to be extinguished. It’s okay to pray those kinds of things. And even when I don’t have answers , I can follow His example by leaning into God’s plan.
Like Jesus did.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to show you a false side of myself; as if I haven’t done my share of kicking and screaming. But since this isn’t my first rodeo, I hope I have learned to stop the fighting a little more quickly.

What are you suffering today?
Are you tired? Scared? Worried?
It’s okay. Plant your feet a little deeper in the soil of faith. Let your feet get really dirty. Lean into God’s plan for you. Don’t worry about tomorrow, while today is still here. Remember that Jesus understands and said he would be walking beside us in the fire.
What an image to ponder.
What undying love.
So, grab a cup of coffee and go pray for yourself.
And someone else.
And rest your mind and muddy feet.

“For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭41‬:‭13‬ ‭NIV‬‬